Woodstock, New York, Late August 2010

Woodstock, New York, Late August 2010
Morning Pages

I can feel that I’ve been slacking off on “morning pages” – Julia Cameron’s main means to sanity for the creative person) and need to get back on track to cast the day in intention and explore my art. Writing and now too photography is starting to be fulfilling.

Dream: I’m back in “college” (hotel? dorm? university? and fancy hotel). Of course it’s exam day and I hadn’t taken any of the classes, had no idea what they were or how I could have missed them. I was running around to feel out where I had to go and do – when miraculously I was 3 hours into the day and had, somehow, completed 3 exams. I am finishing up the third test and seeking the location of the next, and final, exam. I tell myself, “I’ll wing this one. Do the best I can. People were guiding me and for once the directional signals I gave myself were “on” target…. but I woke up before I found out what happened with the final test? O passive aggressive dreamworld; how you do mirror my own!

I’ve had this dream in many forms over the years. This night’s in-the-dark feature film indicates to me, being more relaxed in life, letting go the struggle, seeking - but trusting my intuition more and allowing for more positive solutions. If not “perfection” – a welcome feeling of semi-completion and at-tune-ment. More confidence? Drive? Faith? So many years of implanting these “higher” qualities in the rugged pine forests and meditational caves of my rocky mind with flower essences visualizations, affirmations, prayers and astral updates.
Perhaps? Some light has filtered in. OM. AH. HUM.

This dream and being in Woodstock for a longer stretch are making me feel stronger, lighter. Needing and getting a tree top respite from the frenzy and challenges of this summer – mainly my mother being ill. Releasing the concrete jungle for the hummingbird’s dazzling iridescent gold wings, the darting silky zebra butterflies, the sacred elephant “remains” (tree husks) I pray to as I take my long snaking perambulation down down down and back up Upper Byrdcliffe Way to number 53 – a spiritual constitutional to kick off the energy rev. For much happens and yet really nothing much at all.

There is no single focus or highlight, teaching or treatise of this two-week retreat. Rather a consistent flow of quixotic weather, good and new friends, spiritual practice, ordinary magic, the ineffable “SOB” story, gleaming prayed-for voltage returning – all the lights went out along with the hot water!) right after Old Same Bonnie’s and my ceremonial sundance (transforming the deluge to power “on”, the fun and sparkle of Barbara’s Rainbow House birthday dinner, a long talk with Tom The Musician et at, about family and what friends go through in life, under the twining arbor flower trellises he is building and will soon take his new bride under… for their vows - just five days’ time, dining and wining with Val and Arturo at The Red Onion. O the cosmic magic of the pearly full moon and red god of war Mars conjuncting in the star sapphire sky… for the appearance of two radically different moons, creamy white and burning astro-red. WOW. Wishes, on both falling stars and Airplanes! (hear BOB). Discovering Bee had crawled for the first time in Nantucket and the riotous video of Miss Bee’s victory – her screams of delight and pride announcing to all, I am woman hear me roar! that followed the news.

Mid-morning naked sun baths, slathered in coconut oil amid the lusty fragrances of the mountain forest, on the tree house roof top; real shimmeringly soft white-gold radiant sunlight treatments. Fresh herbs! and August flowers galore – wild pink and lilac roses, deep purple morning glories, white and orange lilies, the omnipresent Black Eyed Susans (for casting light on the shadow self… oh my… dancing the grounds with us and the divas of the plants and frogs and lizards and spindly spiders and doe-eyed ones… in the Buddha fields of The Rainbow House. Sacred waterfalls. Buddha’s image divinely sprinkled sparsely in the gardens to be discovered by the fortunate - as forms of wisdom incarnate high under the Tibetan multi-colored prayer flags waving in the mystery and low-sitting in contemplation near “my” Yeshe Tsogyal wishing pond by the large blue hammock. Her secret dakini’s conch shell teachings throughout time and space…terma unseen yet “planted” hidden to discovered at the right time. Flickering moment’s moment of awakening - when ts eliot’s “cloud passes over the sun” (The Four Quartets, Burnt Norton) - in the garden where the pool of our childhood’s memory appears empty til the sunlight’s return again fills the pool with love and laughter. Remember?

Shiva and Eric and Taxi Paul’s death which I hear is being commemorated Woodstock area October. The rushing clear cold Old Mill Stream, crystally as ever. A general sense that the world’s mood – I guess my mood – is slowly improving.

O the ineluctable modality of the sensual of two weeks, really 11 days, with King Arthur, Vajrasattva BE! flowing rainbow light through me and you and you too. O Precious Guru. Lotus Born…..Loren comes soon to “tend the sheep,” ferrying us to the famous local bus stop in front of the hardware store. The day is inviting and light. I can’t wait to see Bee.

ALL IS WELL IN MY WORLD
I AM A HOLY BEING. A LIVING GODDESS.
I AM FILLED WITH RADIANT CREATIVE ENERGY AND BEAUTY.
ALL I WANT AND NEED COMES EASILY AND NATURALLY TO ME.
I AM WITH THE RIGHT MAN FOR ME.
ESSENCES: Blackberry, Blazing Star, Explorer’s Gentian, Pretty Face, Blueberry Pollen, Northern Lights, Gold, Spectrolite, Grace.

cherry (currently blissful warrior)aka pema osel