XO

Photo: Queen of Cups by Linda Cohen

Blog: Fast Forward to June 26th, Sort of sunny Sunday 9:26 am Postulate #1: Most mortal men can’t handle a Living Goddess. Even the Gods may fumble.
Postulate #2: Goddesses like US are soul-shakers…..rattle rattle rattle bang bang wake up cluck

Carlos Nakai’s Native American flute-fans the Morning Glory-blue sounds of awakening peace in my cool temple bedroom. Now it’s to clear my head from last night’s bad preview at The Cherry Lane Theater and the two Grey Goose that followed on a sweltering night in Gotham. Rose pink, lilac, and Moroccan fig votives emit precious essential oils from India and Nepal. Sri Lanka. Far Far East. This inter-dimensional temple in which I live and aspire to practice peace (which sometimes looks like war), soothes and uplifts me ever. Mirrors me….Sometimes new-born tigress tame. Sometimes a wild woman crazed and running with the wolves inside and out. Scorpio rising. Mars in Scorpio. South Node Scorpio. Phoenix energy! Put in the cosmic mix, three eclipses this June month and stir consistently and vigilantly.

(1) Got a call from an old friend of 50 years past. She, long suffering, and in the midst of the “big shift” reappears in my life. Also this current month of June: (2) I met with a first cousin (who “found” me from my website) and with whom I feel in sync and larger-family hopeful; and (3) the lovely, now 25 year old, daughter of a unique former lover (15 years I haven’t seen him or her) in Sweden contacted me from the heavenly hue of true and lasting butterfly connections! Amazing time of sync and sharing. Solar returns. Reconnections. Lettings go. The silent perfect Tibetan sand mandalas wiped clean upon completion: nothing lasts for ever where all is flux. Form is Emptiness. Emptiness form.

Mentoring many with the healing flower essences, Nature’s vitamins for the emotions. Already missing my Goddess Circle goddesses, but grateful for the summer break for more writing, dancing, biking, zoning out and in adventures and new yoga practice. Namaste. A new Tarot deck, The Cosmic Tarot, with only the Queen of Cups face up on my alter. It’s time to review and synergize new flower essences and gems… as so fast are the spinning energy spirals of the ethers ebbing and flowing through ALL Creation, one must keep up, or at least make the valiant effort.

Guess what? Mr. X has down and disappeared (but, I notice, logging on, not from checking his jdate site obsessively? I only check mine on Sundays since I’ve witnessed the addictive nature first hand). No call, no word, no scratch of an email, hieroglyph, carrier pigeon, nor any snail mail Hallmark card graciously bowing out. Bow. Wow. Nada. Limboing for one romantically unsolid week. Finally! Eureka! I get it this time. THE LESSON: I’ve been a willing, no deliriously happy, erstwhile “victim” to the mans’ rules regarding extra-us sex…..A ruse, disguised as flattery and offered as proof of impeccable integrity and honorable character! (Him: “I never cheated on my wife!” Him: “When I get into a relationship, AND I REALLY! LIKE YOU… it has to be monogamous”. And him: “I only have one girlfriend at a time.” And him: “My wife never cheated on me.” And directly into my disbelieving hazel eyes…”.Why didn’t you fight for the relationship?” (Who is X talking to?) As if I were his ex-wife or latest dropout Barbie Doll?) Me: vis a vis early Sex in the City, veritably crooning, “You are truly the heterosexual holy grail.” Handsome, appropriate, sports car, boat! sexy and monogamous!…feels like winning the internet-dating lotto. ching ching ching

I thought I was being so free-thinking and independent, after we’d begun dating, (though I did think it odd that he told me “weekends are for the boat”) - does the boat miss him during the week? But, I figured, there’d be plenty of time to work out schedules once we got some time in under our belts, right? Meantime, keeping my life right on track, skipping no dance nor yoga nor drumming class, no goo goo eyed excuses, from me, for not visiting my mom or granddaughter Bee… really staying better than on track in my own life, choosing days and times and places X and I might meet that would work for me (a switch)…. but for this one fucking blind spot. I always put forth visions of male/female equality, to the men I start dating, before they give me their monogamous hip hop rap…. I say outright that dating/fucking other people is fine. Hello! Safe Sex…Both for the goose and the gander. And I always buy a brand new pack of high end lamb skin condoms, ready, willing, and able to serve…..and always I get the “no no no no princess” from the man. “I want US to be monogamous.” And – “no no no. No condoms needed. For ME, doll, one girlfriend at a time. I’m clear.” So up pops the question of the HIV test, which the last three men I’ve dated told me pistil blank they’d just had the test and all is well, better than well, they basically have superman blood. What do I know? Evidently, little. In this arena. But I’m learning. Men will say anything when struck by Cupid’s golden arrows of desire, entranced by a woman’s golden sparkle, or the conquest of a new vagina. Maybe it’s in their sexual DNA? But haven’t we evolved at all in the 21st Century, as time is rapidly coming to an end (as we know it)? Can’t relationships be honest and free. Is it only fun for the guy with a butter cream lie? Where have all the flowers gone? Who is killing all the bees?

But the big DOUBLE CROSS was already in play, and I, again, The Hanged (WO)Man, suspended in a bubble of fantasy and rose-colored frames. In the short time X and I had our flirtation, 28 days less or more, I (encouraged by his visions of vastly more pleasurable sex) had a full frontal Brazilian twat waxing (it’s only hair, hair which better not grow back gray!). “Take risks,” “Go for it,” he egged-faced me on. So. Ok. And? Now I’m box-bald, itching and not enjoying sex more with him. Or myself. So what! I did it. For me. And I’m glad for the new exotic experience even though it killed. May even continue the art and upkeep of the sacred entrance to the tunnel of love, desire and ineffable sexual secrets.

The time is one of full expansion. Fulfilling of potentials. So what’s a little clean-shaved vajayjay while progressing on The Path. The Heart Sutra. The Cult of Isis. Priestesses of Ochun? Following Inanna’s return from the Underworld? The depths of my own Living Goddessness….O Kumari you are my muse!
These date ‘em, mate ‘em and uncreate ‘em match or jewdate addicts don’t fancy getting our gnarly pubic hairs in their perfectly pre-whitened and expensively Vaniered choppers, and have such degenerated eyesight that they, they claim, “can’t really find things down there in the bush with so much heavy camouflage” (a direct quote). There’s DANGER down under in the jungle, the threatening amazon foliage of sweet fragrant gardenia juices and Secret Garden FDS summer tangles. And of course they brag about their own hair-tamed and perfectly groomed prized lingams, but natch! They never take Viagra! And they can always cum. Hum. Ho.

Well. Well. Well. (The I Ching says one must penetrate the Well completely.) Holy of Holies. That’s what we Goddesses are. - I believe - labyrinths of hidden jewels and Yeshe Tsogyal Lotus petal rainbow fountaining nectars of Kundalini bliss wheels. And here’s the disconnect, these allegedly squeaky clean aspirants, and apprentices to the Goddess, request immediate rsvps for monogamy…Butt as I found out later, they’re monogamous with about five other lovers too while your waiting in your wings. And just a few months, weeks, or even a fortnight down Route 69 - they have more outside (you) obligations than Obama. When will we wake up to smell these oxymorons? And take back our power!

NOW. Practicing the dharma, I witness, I watch, I wait, I do not judge nor lie in ambush (with a laundry bag of dirt to toss on them). But come on. Where falleth I? in his well-crafted entirely him-centered formula of work, workouts, former wives, children young and old, cars blowing up and jealous boats? Alone! With my Louise Hay healing affirmations and Buddhist loving-kindness practices. That’s where.

O. Me. NOW TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. Victim no more! What’s an open-minded, sexy, free-spirited, soulful hot cool scorpionic dakini to do? Become cynical? Remain a victim of abuse? Swear off men. Not this living goddess. I keep flowing and flowering in the flow.
Conclusion drawn: I will date who I want, what I want, where I want. I will decide with whom I choose to be exclusive, when the time is right. I will always have an adequate supply of Natruallamb Luxury Condoms, Extra Large and Lubricated on hand, so to speak. Sex is sexy if it’s safe.
And to Mr. X…I say, “Y? Can you find no means to heal your defects. Y not? I remain O Circle of Life. Flower of life. O la la. So X….Ta ta”.
Essences: I am using HH Bach Walnut to break the link of the vajayjay trap and for psychic protection; Pegasus Et A Ceti Starlight Elixir (I need some new info from my star-sisters); FES California Peony for luscious femininity; Gypsy Goddess Metatron for unity: Dalton’s Queen of the Meadow for being in my power; lots of lilies, especially FES GRACE. And long-standing FES Manzanita and Pretty Face and Alaskan Blueberry Pollen.

I Am A Holy Being. I Am A Living Goddess.
Joy is everywhere. Madonnas wear Betsy Johnson.
As I release the past, the fresh, the new, and the vital enter.

Photo: Secret Garden by Linda Cohen

Signs & Signals

Photo: The Bee Playing Stevie Wonder by Linda Cohen

Signs & Signals Thursday June 16th 8:53am
Went to dinner at Milos with X last night in an opal-white glow of Luna Mother’s full-faced Sag moon. Supreme weather today/tonight. Very full-moony. Architecturally and monolithically magnificent and stunning chrome and silver silhouettes of heavenly-beacons of both modern tradition (Trump Tower) and ultra-modernity (Twin Time Warner Towers) sharing space with the clearest blue lavender-tinged, day-melting into night etheric blanket. And the beautiful man…sweet, sexy, manly, seemingly sensitive and wise, funny, considerate, again seemingly deep-souled hunk. But don’t tell him just yet that I said this although I probably will blabbermouth it out myself. Really????? I ask me? How many men in their Don Johnson tinged-gray late 50s hair do I find attractive? .00005% I would guess. And that could nearly include men in general. Lots of them look really good, and will sweet talk nearly all innocent holders of the vajayjay power. BUT so many of them do really stupid things like not giving up their subway seats to pregnant ladies, or fluttering in and out of truth, as if that could really be, with regard to whatever persona they wish to present on the spot… or disappearing altogether, sub Rosa. Sub Adam. You never know. No you don’t. Who does? Find out what you can from the cards, the tea leaves, the Runes, the Ching……a tapestry for understanding. A commitment to long-term growth and inner change….change, the only constant.

In the fun of the flight and the fancy hours edging incandescent towards midnight, X and I chose a Rune from the Nordic oracle -- it appears a backward F, kind of semaphore-like = Signals, The Messenger Rune, The God Loki

“The Keynote here is receiving messages, messages which may be of a new life….The connection with the divine is at hand. It is the signal to explore the depths, the foundation of life, and to experience the inexhaustible wellspring of the divine in your nature….At the same time you are reminded that you must draw from the well to nourish yourself and give to yourself. Then there will be more than enough to nourish others. A new sense of family solidarity invests this Rune.”
And just like that in the heart heat/loin heat of the moment Mr. X makes a toast to “us”.
Fun. Very fun.

To work at Namaste today. Very good fun…
Tonight Nour Han’s Student Belly Dance Show somewhere on The Bowery. Love the Bowery.

Essences: FES combo Sacred Heart by the bottles full. Gypsy Goddess Metatron for UNITY. Finally a new bottle of Rock Water arrived from FES. Pulled out the Blackberry from my regimen for the time being. Alaskan environmental essence Northern Lights for amazement. Also heavy on the FES Manzanita and research essence Blazing Star. Sticky MonkeyFlower to overcome fear of intimacy and lots of delicious Hibiscus for enhanced female sexuality.

i am a holy being.
I AM A LIVING GODDESS.

Freya's Day (Goddess Sabbath)

Dali Sculpture Photo by Linda Cohen

Freya’s Day (Goddess Sabbath) June 10, 2011 7:11 am

I’m cracking, wide open and to skeletal crystal iridescent -ivory smithereens, where ancient, hurtful, unloving patters release. A body to soul roller coaster. A chakra cyclone. A longed-for blessing. X and I had a date for last night, to top off a near one hundred degree day in the Big Apple. Threats of heavy rain, hail and thunder storms and even wild inner city tornados ominously lay over the city and surroundings. I emailed X to say we’d be best to take a rain/thunder/lightening/hail/tornado check. I felt good about this more balanced me who three years ago, or there about, I would have considered the stormy weather a test from Holy Spirit to see if X could make it in alive from Long Island to see me, dine me, sex me. Forget that. No more tests :-)

And everyone does what she/he wants to do, no guilt tripping. Pine essence is good for self-acceptance and freeing from feelings of guilt. Progress.

Things at Namaste are moving wonderfully well. I love the spiritual emporium, and love working there. I feel appreciated for my expertise in flower essence therapy. I am cultivating many new synchronistic and fascinating connections. The energy is very high. Everyone loves this store; it’s just right. Also a fantastic resource for crystals, crystal jewelry, amazing psychic/healing/meditation wands….so much! Moldavite bath salts. Imperial topaz “chips” for fifty cents. Television crystal to better read beneath the surface and all manner of Healing Herb Bach and FES flower essences. Heavenly music. And everywhere the faces of the gods and goddesses and Buddha in astounding forms.

Feeling so naturally the flow, the grace, the guts to stretch my lizard skins beyond their former fit. More energy. More clear space in my mind. More REAL work, inner and outer, greater manifestation through greater clarity and Ganesha’s divine protection. OM. OM I AM ONE. OM I AM HOME~~~

Where to take the Goddess Circles next season? Mystery. Ritual. Feeling our connection more and more BEING HER. Where I am challenged, hesitant, lack confidence, unsure….now pondering, “What would SHE do? Isis? Laxmi:? Quan Yin? Freya? Ochun? The Marys?

Creating higher ideals to live by “amid the garbage and the flowers.” The cosmos is spiraling from the sacred flower of life at its center, continually nurtured by Goddess energy, earth loving, compassionate, flowing, peaceful, in Grace the flower(s) bloom.

Expanding my essence taking, adding more River Goddess from healingforharmony, more DhanaLaxmi for sustaining, lots and lots of lilies....heavy Sacred Heart

Amid the Garbage and the Flowers
Photo by Linda Cohen

Signals

Photo: My Mom in the Garden by Linda Cohen
Father's Day 2011

Signals~~~~

June 9th 9:07 am – the thermometer in Shakespeare’s Castle in mid-Central Park is supposed to soar to 97…. and the ethers are filled with sooty gray ominous forms! I am waking up early. 7am. What a switch from just a few months ago. Took Bee to her new art and music, snack puppet and cheerio class. As always this complex complicated, quadruple Scorpio wench of a loving willful brilliant beautiful funny and utterly adorable and disarming imp – opens and fills my soul with love. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. She’s quirky. She gets me. We’re a very good match! Bee and cherry.

The final Goddess Circle of the season starring Ochun was sweet tender, powerful, and life-affirming. The Circle is far greater than the sum of its parts. We are a spiritual cell in the Love Body of the Goddess when we meet, doing magikal, ancient and futuristic songs and prayers and dances and telling of our stories…exchanging information, aligning with each other’s lives for support and connection…The Whole is fun, unique, creative, uplifting, mirroring.

Very good morning at Namaste!.... Jewel of a spiritual oasis in a sea of the every day veil. Date tonight. Fun!

• All is well in my world.
• All I want and need comes easily and naturally to me.
• I am with the right man.
• I am filled with radiant creative energy and beauty (inner and outer).
• I CHOOSE.

Taking a lot of essences morning and night: Himalayan Lily, Blueberry Pollen, Gold, Blackberry, Manzanita, Blazing Star, Cayenne, Madjugorje Mallow (from Bosnia, where Madonna apparitions occur daily), David Dalton’s Werewolf Root (on my 2nd bottle this month) and cherie seed’s Moon Goddess. Sacred Heart is my staple.

I am OPEN to my highest good; the good of ALL.

Spirals & StarStreams

Ochun Alter Photo by Linda Cohen

Spirals & StarStreams~~~
June 8th Wednesday, final Goddess Circle of this season, Ochun: Orisia Goddess of Love, Pleasure, Sensuality, Fertility, Beloved by many, from her early African origin through the Diaspora which brought Ochun far and wide: to the Caribbean, especially Cuba, for whom she is the patron saint, to Haiti, Brazil, and all over the globe.

A magikal time of mystery and manifestation, high energy output=high energy return. The train comes on time as I pass my monthly metrocard through the turnstile, the B train, Sexy Secrets has the negligee that I want in my size! (rare), men offer their prized subway seats to middle age ladies, even girls in a packed A train in the 87 degree rush-hour haze. We’re smushed against each other’s sweat and still we are smiling, like a traditional Cuban son band waiting to play, we’ve got heart and we can share it, really. We are helping one another. Maybe, we feel, if we’ve made it this far, as in are still here on the Mother planet, there is an inner risk-taker, a positive sharing attitude, a protective golden field of light and life around us. Let’s have fun as best we can BE CAUSE who knows. Anything?

Yoga at DBGym with Tim is always a challenge and a hot handsome hilarious hoot of a contortionist’s dream but I am thinking of quitting this August 1…time for something new yoga-wise. JivaMukti? Pure? Kundalini? Dragon? But before I leave DB gym, I want to perfect, as in do an unassisted handstand against the what once had been the 23rd street YMCA second floor yoga studio wall. I did it once so far. This long-time vision. What a feeling of will and determination and strength overcoming fear. Very exciting, hand-standing on my own, after two maybe three years of teacher assists. The hand stand rocks. Met Cherie Seed at Flower Power at 1pm (www.healingforharmony.com). I love her Laxmi essences and other energy products which Lata may carry in the future; they just have to work out the details of Divine Intervention. Cherie is now working in India where she lives (she is Australian) making her sacred goddess medicines. I literally bought a 22K Laxmi pendent (reverse side Laxmi yantra) and chain off her neck, practically as she was about to leave to return to India, healthy-looking body. What a gift. I love this golden pendant I wear next to my silver Isis. OM ISIS the flow, the flower…And the flow. Meeting X and other new friends ;-) helps me realize the power of the healingforharmony essences and my own power. I am more able to step back before knee jerk reactions and reframe the scene. It’s fun and creative. My affirmations, journaling, spiritual practice and the tv show Men of a Certain Age help me. A SIGN: I hardly ever lose anything but I lost my red peace scarf about a month ago and I did let it go however it upset me. This unlike me carelessness. Then today, more than four weeks later, finding my peace scarf in a locker in the gym…like carrie finding her carrie necklace in S and the C, I felt. Readying for OCHUN celebration tonight! The 95 degree afternoon with Bee (while wild horrid shootings were blasting up, gang-style, kids at Brighton Beach) to her new art and music class. Fun!

Life is good again now. May the good health of my family prevail. May WE be kind to others and take the moments for exchange, meeting eye to eye with neighbors and friends and new friends too. May we be the shimmering love lights we are here to be…glowing, golden white pink lavender sparkling human astral peace candles….incandescent cosmic mother seeds.

Essences added: FES Sticky Monkeyflower for fear of intimacy; extra Rock Water and Pine, HHBach, barrels full of FES Sacred Heart and Dalton’s Werewolf Root essence.

I CHOOSE

Star Streams & Spirals

Photo by Linda Cohen

StarStreams & Spirals ~~~~
June 7, 2011, 7:40 am Morning Pages…

Everything’s looking so much brighter. Neater? Jimmy Cliff’s, “I can see clearly now….” echoes from Bee’s cherry red iPod. Feeling an ultra violet sense of peace.

I had a Brazilian full frontal waxing with a small triangle landing strip (the only sign of civilization remaining); the curly black tuft of pyramid marks the f spot. The jewels are beyond, so to speak, or perhaps within, or revealed from drawing the astral curtain behind said strip. Strip being an operative word. OUCH. Per a new guy I’m dating…. a “close shave” was Mr. X’s undemanding request. I should have known from being a Sex and the City devote/junkie….that the quality upkeep and maintenance of pubic hair is big IMPORTANT business and according to my Polish vajayjay-waxer Marta, from the land of densely thick blue bee’s wax, I am clueless as to the 2011 rites re: this sacred area. Kundalini serpents coiling. OK Game on! Wow it hurts, but nothing like an upper lip electrolysis torture session. So, piece of vanilla chiffon cupcake, yoni-pie, fresh-moan lawn romantic aromatic. I’m not used to the way it feels or looks…but if “it” makes sex better. Duh! Or DaDa. Or Yankee Doodle. Or Dali! Onwards to the current goddess’ offerings…. of revelations of the pomegranate mysteries, dakini-languaged- treasures, possibly available to the worthy male initiate in an astral bay window of time.. Wish-fulfilling gem. Swirls of raspberry cream, peppermint dream, smoothies on the hottest near-summer day. Tennessee Williams' South Carolina heavy vaporous gardenia airs.

I’m getting out on my silver blue steed-bike, Blue Tara, more. Central Park is blazingly beautiful and earth-fragrant in the early mornings, like a sweet moist blooming and beckoning pink lotus vajayjay. It’s the swelling blooms of lilac and the dripping dense purple wisteria vines, this year, that are so utterly perfuming the park’s ozone-rich emerald ethers, while the big silent trees are bursting with life-force prana. Morning time the park’s rich palate of greens, golds and pear blossom whites are the most dense and oxygenating in the city ( the river is good too). No cars allowed! It’s runners, bikers, strollers, amblers, ramblers, the lifeless looking homeless still asleep in the nooks and stone tunnels of the park that are regulars. Here, Mama Nature and her myriad sparkling creatures – before the day too fills with sunfire and the naked city streets are thick with gaseous yawning sputtering cars grabbing for the lights. It can get too tight.

Meeting cherie seed of www.healingforharmony.com at Flower Power at 1, après yoga. She’s just in from India for a couple of days. I feel her Laxmi essences helped facilitate a major shift in my reactionary patterns and super-sized my creative focus and flow! And being able to be more inclusive in my thinking, holistic, less constricted and judgmental. When I start judging myself I take a hit of Dr. Bach’s Pine. When there is flow….there is spiraling energy infinite! such that, if we are open, many new possibilities present themselves and we are more able to see them and choose the directions, actions, venues, thought –patterns, summer colors, playful third-eye bindis which further our Starpath views and Starpath views of others - to benefit All. Not so much time wasted in conflict and indecision. More trust in my intuition gives me greater confidence and self-acceptance. I believe this is to be a powerful meeting of shamans and that some good exchanges and ideas will be born today at Flower Power.

I believe in all the good unfolding now, the soul-cross-connections, the hyper in-syncs, inter-dimensional heavenly bodies co-joining and morphing. June 2011, with its 3 lunar eclipses, and the radiant orgone energy of life/sex opening wide its arms to rejoice the fountaining of Guru Rinpoch’s rainbow lights spraying our mucked-up carburetors clean, both loosening and firming our iron-man stiff joints, physically and emotionally. And if you happen to be a dancer WOW….feeling the red, orange, yellow, tourmaline pink-green heart space, light incandescent throat chakra radiating blue, indigo third eye and white/violet of our whirling Dervish crown ……chakras open from our long-stretching roots deep into Mother Earth - to our spindles of consciousness hip hopping the heavens, the Buddha fields….there’s a lot going on NOW with a deep sigh breath from the mouth. I have prayed, long and deep. And I have let it all go. Prayed more fervently and imagine how it could be. I’ve story-boarded, taken my essences faithfully and ritualistically, invoked the goddess and called often on Ganesh, Lord of Obsticles. I have taken bigger risks while still staying true to myself. I’m not testing so many people in my own mind any more = not testing myself. Let it be. Don’t force. Take a good seat and watch the magik show. Be the magik show. Be grateful for the magik show.

I feel the merits of my concentrated good works and am so grateful to Spirit and all the loving powers that be. O yes! There is so much more of me that needs greater disciplining, and I can accept that. And allowing myself to move more energetically and spiritually (inside too) – to a new level of freedom, flow and emotional flexibility. I am flowing, free-flowing, flowering with lotus love intentions and big klinky brass bracelets Ochun loves, burning yellow candles, watering and ingesting sunflowers.

Major essences of the moment: Himalayan Lily, Blueberry Pollen, Gold, Chia from Gypsy Goddess, (loving) FES Blazing Star, BLACKBERRY, MANZANITA, Pretty Face, Flourish Sacred Heart spray, Grace, Medugorje Mallow (Julia Graves) for Grace, and David Dalton’s Werewolf Root essence for radical change.

We are all here NOW.